S H A R O N

Date: 29 Feb 2008
Time: 2:29 pm

you'll never get to love me again..

i feel like a fool now..and you made me feel this way today.

i almost took pills,because of you.

you made me cried,all night long last night..

i felt so stupid that i wanted this.

i told myself everything would be just fine,but in the end,that side of mine came off.IM NOT OKAY,YOU STUPID!

&i was so close to do all this

punched the wall,but it hurt me more.

because of you,i have not eaten since last night.

thank you for showing me the real you,its over now..and i dont wish to have a single shit with you,because i noe being with you will only HURT me more..i almost gave you my everything.how STUPID.i believed you because i love you more than my life.

i wanted you to admit to me,but you didnt..you said i didnt trust you.and you made me feel like im the wrong one,when im NOT. but its over now,isnt it?and everyone watch you break my heart..i wanted you to apologize and tell me the truth.i may forgive you,but never will i go back to your side.you didnt love me enough.oh wait,you never did love me.they said i should give you one more try,but its too LATE,its OVER now. and you choose the right time to hurt me.how stupid was i to believe all your lies. you'll never get to love me anymore again.because you're not good enough for me..i admit,i was STUPID to believe you. its too late to realise things now anyways.well not too late,im over you. YOU JERKK.

thanks for the wonderful 5months and 19days..&15hours? GOODBYE!

0have left cookies for me

Date: 25 Feb 2008
Time: 6:43 pm

tired..

im very very tired from lawas trip and school is insane for me..i got new task to do which is the co-curricular(sp?) thing&im not ready yet..im afraid i'll fail my teacher.especially mrs.shafee.ah wells,sharon you can do it because He will help you thru yur hard times.. (; i can! so anyways,lawas trip was amazing..i took lots of pictures but sadly i cant post it up because my bluetooth device die-ded on me..haha! i got this word die-ded from KKD. i miss lawas so very much.bonding times&everything.i miss the people,the place a hell LOT. ): bring me there again.the 6 of us will do. i dont mind. lys was acting weirdly in the whole entire trip! she's like so hyped up.freaked me out somehow but i still find it hilarious.

&KKD..haiyaa!alot alot to say bout this koko also.in the trip,he was super duper L-A-M-E! (; like rele lamee..hehe!and clumsy&mean. theres more to say about him but i shall just keep it to myself. rights KKD? hehehe..and BC,was beinggg MEAN! erik normal. gentle giant. and uncle jon,was great..i finally get to know who uncle jon rele is! joker man. (; hehs! theres alot alot to say about the whole trip.like ALOT. the trip was aweeeesommeee! oh oh,we played against chunghwa todayy.we lost. ): BUT i broke the egg.hehe! superstar babeh.it was a great game,chunghwa girls are good okays! alrights then,i need to rest..studyyyyy! seeyouss!

Lalalovee,Sharon.

0have left cookies for me

Date: 21 Feb 2008
Time: 8:10 pm

chap goh mei..

last day of CNY todayy..chap goh mei! went to tuiton just now. it was fun. hehehe..tuition is like fun now..i finally get to catch up with the works and so on..&aziim kambang just now. (; hehe..im off to lawas tomoro&i'll pretty much miss tuitions.hmm! i have not packed yet bcos im rele rele lazy. but im looking forward for tomoro. i cant wait to go there to help them,to have fellowship with them.i may sound 'sakai' but this is my very first mission trip&i rele wanna noe what He has for us there. (; heheee..anyways,my bestfriend can rele write lyrics. i oh so love his latest one. its like exactly how i feel deep inside. i dont know how to say but here..i'll show you guys his very own original lyrics.

verse 1: when everything is done,everything else falls apart. it was just a memory stripped,written,tattooed into a scar. its hard for me to say,and its better if i break. Thinking bout the times we talked,and you made me stay awake.

Pre Chorus: Forgetting things,maybe the hardest part,but remembering really breaks my heart.
Chorus: A letter for you,from what i think is true, I cant seem to misplace the times i held hands with you. would it ever fade or would it leave a stain? Should i make a move or should i just leave it all soon. i'll never forget that bright thursday afternoon.

Verse 2: Times i thought you said you loved me,usually false-hoped high, i think i can never accept the fact that you have passed by, hundred and one million words i would say,hoping you would take me back,but nothing goes to plan,i think that i would never be your man.

Bridge: hey beautiful,how are you? sounds cliche but means alot too. 27th of September,clearly remembered. sweet candy dreams,everyday before i slumbered. For the times you said you loved me,i scribbled into a card. glued and papered mache,and made origamied paper hearts. a list of things i did,for a very special girl. but one thing i ask in return,would you be part of my world.
oh bestfriend,you're so cool. i love you. alrights,i wanna watch ugly betty now..hehe! &pack for tomoros. seeyous. nights!

Lalalovee,Sharon.

0have left cookies for me

Date: 19 Feb 2008
Time: 11:59 pm

oh;snap!

Jane left..all smiles. (; no,we did not cry at all..Jane was the only one crying..hehe! i told myself,i must stay strong..i dont wanna let her see me cry. (; so yes,i did it..i did not cry in front of her..im very proud of her too..she's gonna start a new chapter&im sure she'll do just fine there..it'll be harder than it seem,but bear with it yes? (; you take care of yourself there alrights? i miss you already sister.

thats karen,grace,JANE,lynn&susan.her close close buddies. & the one holding on to the camera is SHARON. (; hehe..i like this picture..i dont know why. UC,good snap! (; hehe..so after snapping pictures with Jane,she has to go in.its time! so KKD said bfore she leaves,lets pray for her..while praying,i did cry..i said to myself 'nooo,hold back those tears..she must not see me cry' and so all said 'AMEN' pheww..my eyes were slightly watery..but i doubt she saw. hehe..& once she stepped in the departure gates,OHHH NOOOO...look what happened to wonderful sharon?

i couldnt hold back my tears. yes,KKD said 'after effect' haha! my eyes were redd man..& susan cried too. but the rest kept themselves strong. so Jane,you see how much you mean to me? ima gonna miss youu sister! dont make me cry like that anymore okaes? (;

anyways,im suppose to go for netball but i didnt.i decided not to. (; hehe..Lee Teen said coach wanna give me another chance becos i did nt went for the selection thing. but due to transport problem,i decided not to join school team..i mean what IF i really get into school team,transport will be a BIG problem for me..so no,im sorry girls. ): im going off to lawas on friday till sunday. (; mission trip. i hope it'll be a good one. teehee! and i need to buy new school bag from huaho..alrights,i need to sleep bfore koko ronald comes out and give me a good scolding. (; goodnight.

& last but not least, REST IN PEACE LYDIA SUM TIN HA aka FEI CHE!

Lalalovee,Sharon.

P/S:MUMMY,I MISS YOUUUU! ): COME BACK SOON PLS?

0have left cookies for me

Date: 18 Feb 2008
Time: 11:47 pm

its all over now.

im all alone now in the living room..usually mummy will be watching tv,and always reminds me 'go sleep sharon,you have school tomoro' but today im sitting here all alone,waiting for mummy to remind me to go sleep and help me put this cloth on my back since i've been having terrible backaches latelyy.&today,i feel the pain on my back but mummy is not here to help me 'urut' my back.she's all the way in hongkong for months.not one or two months but many many months. i dont know what the Lord has in store for us,but i'll continue to rely on Him..i thought i could be stronger than this..but no,i failed.i dropped on my knees and cried in the room just now.i miss mummy so much.its really different without mummy at home.it feels really really empty. her everything just makes me miss her so much now. ): and i finally realized. oh mummy,i need you badly now. so much.

we took a picture just now..and thats it,thats all i have.a picture.i still remember what i told mummy last night,i said 'mummy,bring my picture to hongkong with you ok?' and she replied me 'what for?' & i said if you miss me or if you cannot sleep,can take out and look at me mahh.' and she's like 'cheh,whats the use if i bring there?i only can see yur picture but yur not there..no use she said' hmmm..im just wondering how is she doing there..the weather is rele cold there and i rele hope koko&mummy can stand the weather there.especially mummy.when koko roland&mummy went in the departure gates,all i did was cry.i still cannot imagine how does it feel like without mummy&koko. for how long am i gonna stand this feeling?

koko roland,remember to stay strong okaes? (; i noe you will..you promised us that you'll come back and see us and be the big man of the house once more. no matter what it is,God is there to help you thru yur tuff moments..He's the greatest and He can do all things.if you feel like giving up,remember phils 4:13. dont give up yeah? i love you ko..do not give upp okaes? and we need you to take care of mummy too. she's not strong enough.BUT you are. (; right ko? take good care of yourself. we'll visit you in march..okaes?

so whats next? i tell you,i'll be really really emo starting tomoro! ): a dear sister of mine will be leaving in few hours time.she's the closest sister..my childhood friend too.

yes,ms.Jane Ching Ai Nee..she's leaving me all alone in brunei. ): i'll be all alone starting tomoro..theres alot to say about this girl..we've spend like almost the entire time tgether having our blonde moments..&she's rele LAME. =p hehe..thats what i like about this sister heree..she never fails to make me laugh..laugh till we cry. (; right Jane? im gonna miss youu like so much that i just dont noe how to put it in words..& i cannot belif that yur gonna leave us soon. sniffs! i'll never forget those wonderful L A M E time,we have tgether. (; haha..i sound like a lesbo now. HAHA! you better take care of yourself there k? do not talk to strangesss. HAHAHA! sister,take careee.& set your alarm in the morning.bcos theres no one to wake u up early in the morning anymore..you'll always be in my prayers. i love you sister! take careee. huggs.

so yea,im gonna be rele emo tomoro. sigh! ):

Lalalove,Sharon.

P/S:DADDY,im not okay now..i miss you dearly. sighhh.

0have left cookies for me

Date: 15 Feb 2008
Time: 3:26 pm

& mummy;im no one to you.

so im more of like crying now..you noe how hurt i am! like very! so today is the final selection for netball school team.i made it to final 15. & they need to do final selection to 10 only.but sadly i couldnt make it.why? oh wonderful mummy did not wake me up in the morning cos i noe i wont have transport in the afternoon.so i said i'll just go with her in the morning and wait in the saloon till 3pm&go for netball.she said ok. (; BUT this morning when i woke up,she's gone! heck,she din even wake me up.so i thot she'll come back for me in the afternoon since she noe my netball is at 3pm.i was thinking 'oh;how sweet of mummy' i waited till 1.then 1.30.then 2.00. & finally at 2.30 ish i called to my saloon.&my nephew said mummy is in aunty hee ing's house.

i called her mobile but she did not answer at all.&finally at 2.40pm,she called me with aunty hee ing's house phone.this is what mummy said 'yea?you looking for me? why?' WOW! she forgot everything!! i said why didnt you wake me up in the morning? she said 'how i noe oh?' i told her last night that i wanna follow&she said 'ok' and now she come asking me 'HOW I NOE OH?' like what?!!!so yea,mummy,i guess whatever i told you means nothing to you.im not important in your eyes.my other siblings are.but not me,mummy.i finally understand. i couldnt make it to school team i guess?cos i din even go for the final selection. ): its my last year in school.and i thought i could do smthg for myself&the school.BUT no,everythings down the drain.

mummy,you dont know how i feel now.it hurts.very pain.deep inside.you broke your promise.& i dont think this is yur first time.mummy.i still love you. but pls dont do that to me anymore pls? ): dont make me cry again.dont make me feel the pain.you mean the world to me mummy.you are someone i look up to mummy.but why make me feel this way all the time?not all the time,but most of the time.mummy,im only 16.i dont understand much.i couldnt go on somehow.cos i rele need you to encourage me&be there for me.when i said,thats the thing i rele think is important,then mummy let me try it.let me go.its my last year in school this year.you shud noe mummy. oh mummy;you shudnt have promise me anything. ):

i miss daddy very very much.daddy,can you come back?just for 5minutes?i'll be satisfied.i just wanna hug youu and tell you how much i miss you daddy.&things are so messed up at home.without you,its dfinitely hard.mummy misses you too.but she made me cry today.daddy,how i wish you were here with me.im crying inside daddy.&i dont think anyone knows it but me&God. & for today,it seems like im the most unluckiest girl.daddy,come back pls? 5minutes? i just want a hug from you dad. i miss you. ):

Lalalovee,Sharon.

0have left cookies for me

Date: 14 Feb 2008
Time: 2:31 pm

oh;valentine's day..

yes,its valentine's day! (; where you see people giving rose,chocolates,cards,sweets&so on. haha! i received chocolates,a rose,cards&cookies! hehe..its cute seeing everyone holding on to a rose and so on..ohh,teenage life. =D i couldnt post up any picturess..&its boring! uhhh..and something's wrong with the visitors hits in my blog too..weird weird. ohh;i received msges too.sweet msges! hahaha..&also hugss from friends.especially bryant leong. the bestest guy friend. (; like wuah. hehe. AND its Valeen Kan Hui Yee's bday today. HAPPY BDAY HUI YEE. haha!

anyways,i was at chac's place last night&we played rami.is that how i spell?idk. fun fun fun..serene's boyfriend is super noisy&chac's boyfriend is the sweetest oh. (; i better get some rest cos ima need to go somewhereeeeeeeee laterrr. &tuition. argh! alrights then,seeyous!

Lalalovee,Sharon.

P/S:i oh so love lau bridgette,tey lichien,zaimah,adeline,serene,lee jiachee&bryant leong jun cheng.&& sillymuffin..hehe! they're my LOVE!

0have left cookies for me

Date: 12 Feb 2008
Time: 5:51 pm

so so tiredd.

im very very tiredd.just got back home.went out with Lu to buy camera & then go pick vonne up and boy..im feeling so tired. & in half an hour time,ima have to get ready for tuition. ): oh no;tuition no good. making me feel so moodyy. oh wells,i wanna take a short nap first. seeyousss. (;

OH;YES..IM VERY VERY TIREDD.

Lalalovee,Sharon.

0have left cookies for me

Date: 11 Feb 2008
Time: 8:03 pm

brunei;coldd..no sunshine today.

today is like soo cold..no sunshine! brunei's gonna snow? haha! if brunei snows,it means thats the end of the world mannn. =I & i dont have the mood for school..im still in a holiday mood. ahhh! and test is coming up so soon! ): and i need to go for tuition soon. oh no;no more holidays till march? uh! mummy leaving to HK with koko roland soon. ): and they'll be going there for months! NO KIDDING! arghhh,this is driving me nuts.i dont like this feeling. i want mummy. ): craps! i have so many things to do yet so little time.BUT whatever! i dont wanna stress myself for the time being. & guess whus back from holiday? hehe.. KKD&JJCS. =D biggie smile.

i need to eat & then go pack my bag for tomoros and off to lu&vonne's place to play&drink. wuah! HEHE! and ima need to start revising again. after so many days of not doing any revision.so rusty alreadyyy. my maths is like shits! so off now. graph;i hate most! i dont get a single thing man. oh tuition;i need you big time! my nephew is soooo annoying! just bcos he bought his stupid kendo whatever stick =D well,i still love him. teehee!

& ms.adeline liew,i miss you! i noe you miss me too rights? hee~and also JOANNE HOU! where aree youuu? we need some catch up sessions soon.hehe! we're gonna go chill and more. okays,ima need to eat my dinner now.im tireddd. very. oh no. ): tipsy baby.

oh;5months silly muffin.love always.

Lalalovee,Sharon.

0have left cookies for me

Date: 9 Feb 2008
Time: 6:11 pm

braces;hothothot.

you noe what im thinking? (; i think guys with braces are hot..hehe! not all;but some! i dont know why,but they somehow attract meee..like so much! ima have to put on braces too. hehe! but still;guys with braces are hotttt.especially angmoh's.rawrrrrrr! okay,this is soo random. HAHA! i have to go wanting's placeee laterrr and swim.most prolly! (; and have fun.im stuck at home doing nothingg.its oh-so-boringgg. i miss adeline liew wei yinggg. ): BUT she's comingg laterr. for a little while i guess. (; hehs! i miss KKD&JJCS. ): you see how much i miss the bothhh of you? ;p

i want to drink&gamble now.oh its CNY,not all the time i can get to drink rioghts?hehe..but only at times like this,i feel like drinking&gambling?i wanna go somewhereee.& i miss my bestfriend sooo muchhhh.bryant leongggg,im gonna see you tonight yes? (; heheee..i is missing you very muchhh. adeline jst msged meee,she's on her wayyy hereee.im out of words.hehe! seeyousss.

Lalalovee,Sharon.

0have left cookies for me

Date: 8 Feb 2008
Time: 1:12 am

& it somehow annoys me..

ohh my;im frigginly tireddd..after such a long longg day.went to grandma's house for the wholeee dayy todayy and collected a few angpow's. (; hehe..gamble-d and lost $30ish dollars in less than 2 hrs? and i drank todayy. teehee.not all the time i could drink and gamble like this tho..its once in a while... (; tomoros i might go kah boon's placee to gamble & most prolly drink a lil bit? hehe..i want to buy camera as soon as i can.i need moneyyy! it somehow annoys me when i want smthg,and i just dont have the cash.BUT when it comes to i dont want anything,im full with cash and i'll somehow just spend it on some useless stuffs that i dont rele need. how silly. (;

i was reading this someone's blog and this particular someone's blog is full of bad words.i mean in most of the line you could see the word 'fuck' and like 'wtf' and so on like that..i know i shudnt say anything about it since its like others people blog and they could say what-so-ever word they want.but its just so disturbing when this particular person said 'she's a christian' HAHA! ok ok,yeah,she's a girl. imagine going out with a girl whose mouth is full of bad words? no matter how pretty you are,and when yu start swearing like hell..yu'll still be the ugliest girl inside. (; yes,its rele disturbing. & she talks about her family members too. WOW man! she swears like hell. no;i no likee.. =/

im watching american idol now..this black girl is like sooo funnyyy. (; hehe..im chatting with silly muffin now.& he's off to bed after losing 100bucks in gamblingg. hmm..& you promise yu'll buy something for me rights bee? (; haha..anyways,i couldnt post up any nice pictures & things from my phone bcos my bro's lappy doesnt like my bluetooth device.it just dont wanna connect or smthg like that. hmm. ): i want many many angpows so i can get this something that i really want. oh;uh! & on this 11th,ima have to make something for you.yes;YOU. (; i love you very much.

okays,i is want to watch american idol (; and my bro is still gambling with his friends and my uncle. tempting tempting.but i dont wanna gamble anymore cos like i lost so muchhh. oh snap,i'll go now. seeyouus. love always.

Lalalovee,Sharon.

0have left cookies for me

Date: 7 Feb 2008
Time: 1:53 am

Gong Hei Fatt Choi..

Happy Chinese New Year everyone..omg! time sure flies fast..its chinese new yearrr & fireworks are like everywhere..first time in my neighbourhood,theres like soooo many fireworks and so on..its like the bomb! sooo nice&fun. chinese new year means angpow babeh. i doubt i'll receive much this year cos im a biggg girl already and people will most prolly think im 18 or 19? ): haha..but chinese new year also mean its time to gamble and drink. (; its not all the time i can gamble ok? but i do hope this CNY will be a blast. (; money money comeee.

so yesterday me&my kaka went to gdg to look for a proper saloon to do manicure.but there was none..so i said lets go essensuals! thank God,there is. my sister wanna do nailart bahhh..then i met up with jordine&denyse there.i did french manicure.its alright lar..its not that nice bcos the lady there no mood alreadyy..after doing soo many manicures.i soi soi was the last one lor.but she's nice la..(; &my kaka's nail is superb! but the price also super super expensive can.all double charge already. but worth it laaa.my 2 koko's are not home yettt. hmmm..

&oh,i changed my blogskin..i think this one is cool (; hehe..its time for a change anyways! ohhh,koko roland is backkk..now waiting for koko ronald. (; heheee..and mummy bought new set of sofa..its like soo nice! anddd sooo prettyy. it suits the house..i like! its time to sleep now.im tired alreadyyy.once again,gong xi fa chai everyone.have a blessed chinese new year.

Lalalovee,Sharon.

0have left cookies for me

Date: 5 Feb 2008
Time: 12:22 am

you;i love..

this is for you.i dont know how to put it here,but im sure yu'll noe whats on the 11th this month rights? (; i cant make it a protected blog too cos blogger dont have such thing. but here,i'll put it this way.

bee,you know you mean so much to me now and that hell,i cant lose you anymore.that break that i asked for was just stup[id.i cannot lose you.& i finally realised how important you are to me in my whole life.10 days without you,bee was hell. i felt friggin empty and lost. i tried msging another guy in order to forget you,but bee..i jst cant.my mind was filled with yur image and i just cant forget our moments.i cant bear to lose you anymore.and i dont want to lose you too.valentine day is coming and i cant wait..im making you something! & bee,our 5th monthsary coming soon too. i've never been this in love before bee.yur the very first guy who made my heart skipped a beat. and yur the first guy who actually made me feel so special. (; and bee,i never in my life have a relationship which is more that 2months?yur the first bee. in everything. ily,my sillymuffin. mwahsss!

im tired. GOODNIGHTS! CCK,iloveyou. (;

Lalalovee,Sharon.

0have left cookies for me

Date: 4 Feb 2008
Time: 12:14 am

i miss you..

i couldnt help it,but i miss you like crazy..i couldnt get to you somehow..i dont know what to do right now? i finally feel the pain.it hurts like crazy! how i wish you were here with me. oh no! why do i miss you so much? im tired of thinking. yur all over my mind. but still,i wanna say sorry to you. no,im not okay. ): for the first time,i'll tell you. im NOT okay.

GOODNIGHT.

Lalalovee,Sharon.

0have left cookies for me